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OUR HOBBITTY AWARDS!
??s & !!s
~A Song for Bilbo
Dwarves upon dwarves invade my space,
Eat my food and leave not a trace,
They sing through the night til the next day's light
About some distant and dangerous place.
You come to my house, ruin my door,
Then arrive with your posse of dwarves more, and more,
You were the least bit crude, but you ate all my food,
And yet you expect me to come with your crew to explore.
This was big surprise to me
as Gandalf came to have some tea
There story was a waste of time
Or was i truely fit to be?
There was a hobbit who liked to eat,
His name was Bilbo, he had furry feet,
an adventure he had, when he was a lad,
though he was 'bout 50, and thought 'ventures not neat.
he went outside and saw a wizard,
(wherever he went, he left fierce blizzards)
of adventure (not shame), Gandalf is his name,
so Bilbo then had an upset gizzard.
and on the door, he carved a rune,
it caused some dwarves to arrive soon,
a job gamble, a burglar's symbol,
this was the rune, it stayed in the moon.
the dwarves arrived, ate many a cake,
and put Bilbo's reputation at stake.
they sang in the night, without any light,
and talked about the trip they must take.
the journey would be very lengthy,
the group would have to be very strengthy,
treasures unfogged, kill dragon Smaug,
finish the quest upon Gandalf sent thee.
into a forest, the group had toiled,
a light, the hobbit did not recoil,
three trolls he met, and his best bet,
pickpocket one but he was foiled.
one troll grabbed him, and he was caught,
they got the group, he was very distraught,
Gandalf was gone, though needed a ton,
and Thorin did his best and fought.
the trolls argued for roast or boiled,
the dwarves in sacks had breaths that toiled,
Gandalf had come, the trolls were dumb,
their mimicked voices, they had been foiled.
Gandalf had talked in each troll's tone,
and then the trolls just turned to stone,
for dawn was there, and each troll stared,
Gandalf had rescued each dwarve's bones.
they found a place that had contained each troll,
the key Bilbo found then played a big role,
there were pots of gold, and food without mold,
and swords that the trolls had plundered and stole.
through the Misty Mountains the group did roam,
and found the last house that was like a home,
first, elves said, "it's that way!" fourteen days they did stay,
Bilbo thought Elrund was as safe as a dome.
and when they were going to leave quite soon,
Elrund found Thror's map had moon runes,
moon runes can be seen on the day they have been,
and this was a midsummer eve with a moon.
a crescent moon, to be exact,
and the moon runes read a crucial fact,
"Stand by the grey stone" I don't mean to moan,
but which grey stone is the info this lacked.
"When the thrush knocks, and the setting sun"
What does the thrush knock? It confuses me a ton.
"With the last light" I get THIS all right,
"Of Durin's Day will shine upon the key-hole" this is NOT fun.
Durin's Day is the first day
of the last moon in Autumn's stay.
In the dwarves' New Year it's the first day (not to fear)
and the moon is there and so is the sun and it's rays.
The group left and rain would pelter,
but in a cave the group found shelter,
Goblins came in, created a din,
everyone was running helter-skelter.
Gandalf escaped, the rest of the group,
they were prisoners the goblins had duped.
But not in vain, ( this'll leave a stain,)
the Great Goblin's blood spattered like soup.
Gandalf had cleaved the Great Goblin now,
something goblins never allow,
they ran around, fell on the ground,
hit their fellow species with pows.
The group evaded the goblins then,
but the goblins caught up, it was their den,
the goblins were stopped, Bilbo was bopped,
on the head when he fell off Dori. (not again.)
Gandalf and Thorin stabbed goblins there,
here and there, and everywhere,
then the group ran, as fast as they can,
and escaped the goblins that you must beware.
after this run, Bilbo arised,
found a creature named Gollum, about his size,
he lived on a lake, wanted Bilbo to be baked,
and desired to eat him, meat, he did not despise.
a riddle contest then took place,
to Bilbo it also was a race,
in his pocket there was a ring that does
things like make you invisibly graced.
And then he won, but Gollum said,
you took my ring! Your better off dead!
Bilbo did run, it wasn't fun,
he donned his ring and didn't lose his head.
Gollum wondered, "where did he go?
My ring isn't where it was stowed!"
So he ran to the exit, for he
thought that the exit Bilbo did know.
Then Bilbo followed, and saw him there,
he jumped over him, just missing his hair,
the goblins he dodged, in the door he was lodged,
but he got out of the goblins' lair.
He found the rest of his friends outside,
and told his story of how he'd almost died,
not including the ring, a great, great thing,
and then Bilbo was filled with pride.
They went on and on and arrived at a hill,
and lots of rocks fell, though none were killed,
for they went behind trees, its a forest each agrees,
but then they heard wolf cries, and each was shrill.
"They are the Wargs! Quick, climb a tree!
Oh no! Bilbo! He's still under me!
Climb up on my back!" "Now Wargs, attack!"
But the whole group got in the trees safely.
Gandalf threw pinecones lit on fire,
They found that wolves were mighty criers,
then Goblins came, put out the flames,
but let burned trees to now conspire.
the group was all in different trees,
and felt to be 130 degrees,
about to die, they did cry,
when eagles brought them away they shouted with glee.
The Eagles of the Misty Mountains they were,
and Gandalf's friendship with them wasn't a blur,
brought to them food, in a stew brewed,
they ate to their fill and sleep did occur.
Around the table lots to eat
jams, and cheeses, tarts and meat
wine and ale, tall, tall tale
about a terrible dragon they wish to defeat
From the dragon's mouth there shoots a flame
the dragons' a beast one cannot tame
theres regions to explore, magic and more
with all the harps and gold to reclaim
Wargs set on fire
The good guys desire
Goblins peering, Goblins cheering
But eagles saved them and they flew higher
They made it to Smaug's cave
noone died and got put in a grave
lost of gold, the caves' dark and cold
Thorin couldnt pick the treasure that's his fave
The arkenstone was gleaming white
and smaug was not there to make a fight
Its' worth lots, if the shine never stops
to hold it, Bilbo used all his might
A knock at the door,
Bilbo angry and his soul poor,
Bilbo got up,
It was Balin and Gandalf, that was his only cure.
He was very glad,
But some of the memories of the adventure made him sad,
He said "Come in! Come in!",
To his old lads,
Balin's beard grew long,
Bilbo said to move along,
It was great to see his old friends,
It was great to be together all,
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